modeling relational
Coming into Young Life I was extremely nervous. I knew I needed to be a vessel from God for these kids and was worried I wouldn’t be good enough because I’d just started my journey with the Lord nine months before becoming a leader.
A couple of weeks into leading, I fell in love with everything about Young Life. I couldn’t wait to go meet kids during lunch, I was excited to sit in the student section during games, and Monday night clubs were absolutely amazing. After the second club I had students coming to me, telling me their story. They opened up to me about their past or their home life today, and the Lord spoke through me what they needed to hear in that moment. I knew this was where I needed to be. Soon after, I received this letter from a student:
Dear Holly,
Thank you so much for coming into my life and giving me a safe space. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was admit I had been questioning my faith, but God prevails. When it got the hardest and I was asking God for a sign, he put you in my life. I used to be ashamed of my story, but it was easy for me to share it with you. I never felt judged by you and was thankful someone was finally just listening to me and actually hearing what I was saying. It's hard being a teenager. It's even harder being a Christian teenager, in my opinion. I know some people have better home lives than me and some have worse. You could've easily only talked to me during club and acted like I never told you my story, but you didn't and for that I could never repay you. I know God has a plan for each and every one of us, so I know he put you in my life for a reason.
Thank you and Josh, for acknowledging me outside of club and never judging me. I love you, I mean it.
—Haleigh
After reading this I wept. I realized that not only did the Lord put these kids in my life for me to guide them, but to help heal me from my past. I wish I would’ve had someone at their age to be there for me, to speak God’s Word and understand what I was going through. Now I can be that person for them. They inspire me each and every day and I’ll continue to show up for them with open arms because they may not know it, but they’re a huge blessing to me as well.
— Holly Moorman, volunteer leader
three steps to communicating with gen z
dr. tanita maddox, associate regional director, mountain west region
I was an adolescent once. I lived it, survived it, and am tempted to share about “when I was your age” to my adolescent friends. In reality, my adolescent culture is extinct. It was a pre-social media, pre-9/11, pre-pandemic adolescent world, where Blockbuster defined Friday nights and call-waiting was a luxury. That adolescent world doesn’t exist anymore.
Now, I am a stranger in the land of adolescence, where I once was a citizen. Now I’m sent to share Jesus with people who see me as a foreigner.
According to Barna, 73% of Gen Z want to turn to older generations for advice on difficult decisions, yet 71% feel misunderstood by older generations. Kids want to talk to adults, but they risk being misunderstood, and ultimately feeling worse. They want to share personal, authentic, deep thoughts, but worry it will fall on deaf ears or uncompassionate hearts. “When I was your age” assumes I understand the experience of the Gen Zer in front of me, when in reality, I have never experienced this cultural moment as an adolescent.
Step One: Admit I don’t understand the experience of kids today.
My adolescence was absent of social media, school shootings, and a global pandemic, and that’s just a sliver of the experience of adolescents today. The noise, comparison, and pressure never stop for Gen Z, as technology constantly sends the message: You are not enough.
Gen Z is navigating relationships and friendship digitally and IRL (in real life). “When I was your age” disregards the unique experience of this generation and can unintentionally demean when we are trying to connect.
Step Two: Admit I don’t speak the language.
About six years ago, I felt my club talks weren’t landing as well as they once did. At the same time, a 19-year-old leader brought to my attention I sounded angry in my text messages (because I ended my sentences with a period or used a single “thumbs up” emoji). I also didn’t know how to talk about truth as I heard “my truth” and “your truth” become normalized in conversations.
There was a missing link in my communication with Gen Z. This wasn’t about using the current slang. It was assuming I spoke the same language as Gen Z, without realizing the cultural nuances laying beneath the surface. I asked myself:
Can I speak their language?
Can I share the gospel in a way that matters?
Do I understand what is good news to my adolescent friends?
Step Three: Ask questions and listen.
The biggest request I hear from our Gen Zers is: I wish adults would listen to us. Behind that statement is a personal request: Will you listen to me?
Jesus asked questions and listened. He asked a Samaritan woman a question by the well, and then listened to her. On his way to Jairus’s house, Jesus listened to the woman who bled for years as she shared the whole truth (Mark 5:22-42). In both of these settings, Jesus did not walk and talk, but was still.
We must become still and listen. When we listen to Gen Z — really listen — we learn to see them. When we see Gen Z, we can begin to identify where the good news of Jesus intersects with their questions, experience, and lives. In our discipleship, we uncover how Gen Z can engage their values in a way that reflects the Kingdom of heaven here on earth.
Takeaway Tips: Here are four questions to ask kids today:
- On a scale of 1-10, how well do you feel like I listen to you?
- What are the last three memes you sent to someone?
- What is one thing you wish older generations understood about you?
- On a scale of 1-10, how is your mental health?
